Christopher, I love you so god damn much. I knew it from the first time you kissed me that I would fall in love with you. and I slowly did, then you broke my heart and I was torn and so fucking hurt I didn’t know what to do. Then you came back and told me you loved me and you were sorry and you miss me an made a mistake and you wouldn’t do it again. And I believed you and fucking took you back after I swore I wouldn’t. And now here I am three months later absolutely completely fucking retartedly in love with you and you just fucking ripped my heart out and stepped all over it. Idk how to act, I don’t fucking know what to do without you. You are fucking EVERYTHING to me. I want you to be mine again so fucking bad. I don’t want you to hurt me again though..but I know for a fucking fact f you were to call me right now and tell me you love me and want me back I would do it in a fucking heart beat. Do you know why? Because I’m a fucking idiot who is head over fucking heels in love with you. I want to be who you wake up to in the morning, the person you kiss before work, the one who you come home to and the one who you fall asleep with. You’re everything i have ever fucking wanted in a boyfriend/lover/whatever. I just don’t think I can handle the thought of you with someone else.

I wish I had the fucking nerve to actually say this to you..